The lesson hidden in the feud between Asake and his father is that money will always test your relationships. Your wealth will attract both genuine love and opportunists–from within your family.Here’s how you can prepare yourself.
By Joshua I. | March 19, 2025
Asake Vs His Father: My Own Father Wants to Cajole Me
On March 14, a clip surfaced on the Internet showing Afrobeat star Asake’s father, Fatai Odunsi, pleading with Nigerians for help. With visible signs of a partial stroke, he accused Asake of neglecting him. According to him, he had last seen his son, more than a year ago, in March 2022.
Asake quickly replied in the language he knows best: music. In the video, he freestyles in a mixture of Yoruba and English:
“You can’t please humans, you can’t please the world. Whatever you do, do it for God. My own father wants to cajole me even though I have always sent him a lot of money. I have struggled for so many years, yet they want to make life hard and exhausting for me,” Asake freestyled in a mixture of Yoruba and English.
After rounds of back and forth between Asake, family members and the Internet, his father confirmed that they had reconciled. In other words, he had gotten his payday. “Asake said he will do everything that I want,” Odunsi declared. We have settled, no more problems. They are now looking for a new house that he will buy for me. He has settled everything.” Hurray!
There’s no question about it: a son owes his father to take care of him. Common sense, our cultural values and both Christianity and Islam support it. Yet, in spite of the noble nature of Asake’s gesture, it had all unfolded like a Nollywood movie. It started with a crisis, then a public accusation that invited the attention of the Internet. Sympathy poured in and Asake, out of obligation, guilt, or exhaustion, agreed to pay up.
Simply put, Asake was the victim of blackmail.
John Mikel Obi: Africans Are Entitled
Asake’s experience is not unique. It is an African story, one that successful people, whether celebrities, businesspeople, or professionals, know too well. The moment you make it, your wealth ceases to be your own. It becomes ours. Your financial responsibilities expand overnight, reaching beyond nuclear family to extended relatives, in-laws, and your entire village.
In November 2023, in a ‘Vibe With 5′ podcast episode former Super Eagles’ Captain, John Mikel Obi shared a celebrity’s insights in this matter. He described how his family became so comfortable living off his earnings that they expected it as a right. When he finally refused their demands, they turned to emotional blackmail, and threatened to leak scandalous stories to the press.
Mikel’s words were straightforward: “It’s the culture… They give you this thing whereby ‘if you don’t do it, we’re going to go to the press.’ After all I’ve done for you guys? But this happens a lot in Africa. Not everybody comes out and speaks about it,” he added.”
It Is the Culture
Unlike in Western societies, where financial independence is highly emphasized, African cultures traditionally operate on communal support systems. Entire families rely on the most successful member to lift everyone else up. To be sure, this can be admirable; it can also give a strong sense of purpose and satisfaction. But it can also permit people seeing your success as a communal resource rather than an individual achievement. It can breed entitlement, normalize dependency and make blackmail an acceptable method of extracting money from others.
Marriage, an important aspect of African culture, creates its own burden of entitlement. In the podcast, Mikel Obi explained how, in Africa, when a successful person’s sibling gets married, their spouse often assumes that marrying into wealth means automatic financial security. The marriage becomes a transaction and involving strangers.
What We Can All Learn
1. Set Boundaries Early On
Mikel Obi mentioned that he reached a breaking point and decided to say a loud and clear No to being extorted by his family. While such a move will certainly strain some relationships, it was necessary to protect his long-term wealth. A common pattern among successful people who avoid financial collapse is that they set clear boundaries from the beginning. For everyone including their family members!
If you don’t set boundaries, people will never stop asking. Many successful individuals mistakenly believe that providing financial help will reduce demands over time. But in reality, the more you give, the more you perpetuate their dependency. Warren Buffett famously said, “If you give someone financial help once, it’s a gift. If you do it regularly, it’s a salary.” When people depend on your generosity, they rarely look for other ways to sustain themselves.
2. Get As Much Financial Education as You Can
Many celebrities and even ordinary people who suddenly come into wealth, quickly go broke because they were never taught how to manage money. We all assume that a multimillion-dollar contract means endless riches, but money disappears fast when there’s no plan to manage it.
A now world-famous 2009 study by Sports Illustrated found that 60% of NBA players go broke within five years of retirement. And 78% of former NFL players experience financial distress two years after retirement. Contrast this with players like Glover Quin, who lived on only 30% of his earnings and invested the rest.
Among other reasons, one that is often cited in the case of these athletes is their lack of financial literacy. Most athletes start their careers in the 20s, without any knowledge on how to manage huge earnings. They are also mostly focused on their sport. But even this cannot possibly be an excuse. Regardless of where you are in your journey, you need to find ways to educate yourself on how to manage your financial affairs. Because if you don’t control your money, others will.
3. Know When to Say “No” And Mean It!
In our culture where saying “no” is often seen as disrespectful or even unkind, many successful individuals struggle with guilt when they try to set limits. But as harsh as it sounds, helping everyone often means helping no one, including sometimes, the people you love.
Consider incorporating these lessons into your daydream routines of how you will use your wealth when you finally get it!
Glover Quin
Conclusion
Asake’s story, like that of Obi, reminds us that wealth will always test our relationships. Your wealth will attract both healthy and unhealthy expectations from family and friends. Saying No to unhealthy expectations will make you a villain in their eyes. But giving endlessly will leave you with nothing. The key to #survivingsuccess in African culture is balance. Be generous, but never at the cost of your financial security. Give but do not encourage dependency. If you don’t protect your wealth, no one else will.
