The illusion of control shapes how we think, work, and buy. Learn how to use it to reduce stress, improve relationships, and boost business success.
I don’t exactly like elevators. And that’s because of two distinct ones.
It worked fine for a while. But over time, it started to break down. And when the power went out, the last place you’d want to be was inside that thing. If you’ve ever been trapped in an elevator, you know the uneasy feeling it brings. Now, imagine experiencing that as a toddler.
Then there’s the notorious elevator at UNILAG. If you know, you know. HINT: It’s at the Faculty of Arts. I had a friend who used to joke that it belonged there because it was just as dramatic as the faculty itself, lol. But seriously, you’re better off climbing all the stairs. It’s good cardio, anyway.
It’s ironic that elevators form a basis for today’s newsletter. But it’s a sacrifice I’ll make for you, dearest gentle reader (by the way, seen the Season 4 for Bridgerton? I’m HYPED!)
Back to the story. So, did you know that most of the buttons on an elevator don’t actually work? They’re there to make you feel like you’re in control. And funny enough, that feeling alone is enough to reduce stress and improve confidence.
This is what we call the illusion of control—our tendency to overestimate our influence over events. And while it can sometimes lead us to make bad decisions (like thinking we can “beat the stock market” without real strategy), it’s also a powerful tool when used correctly.
Studies show that even the perception of control helps people make decisions with greater confidence, feel less anxious, and engage more positively with others. That’s why casinos, businesses, and even psychologists use this bias to improve experiences and outcomes.
So, how can you apply this in your own life? Whether in personal relationships, your career, or growing a business, understanding and leveraging the illusion of control can be a game-changer.
Let’s break it down.
1) Strengthen Relationships by Offering Micro-Decisions
Think about the last time someone told you what to do. Even if their suggestion made sense, you might have felt some resistance. That’s because people don’t like being forced into things—we like to feel in control of our choices.
By giving people small choices, you create a sense of autonomy, even when the final outcome remains the same.
🔹 Instead of saying, “We need to talk,” try, “Would you rather chat now or later?”
🔹 Instead of “Let’s grab coffee tomorrow,” say, “Would morning or afternoon work better?”
The result? The other person feels like they have control, even though they were going to meet with you anyway. This works in friendships, romantic relationships, and even in parenting.
For instance: discussions on parental influence showed that children who were given small choices—like picking their bedtime story—were more cooperative with larger decisions, like going to bed on time. Adults aren’t much different.
By letting others feel like they have a say, you remove unnecessary friction and make interactions smoother.
2) Reduce Stress at Work by Creating Psychological “Control Points”
Work stress often comes from feeling like things are out of our control—deadlines, emails, surprise meetings, office politics. But research suggests that even thinking we have control can lower stress levels and boost focus.
The Proof:
In a classic study, two groups of participants had to complete a proofreading task while being interrupted by a loud buzzer. One group had a button they could press to stop the noise (but were advised not to). The other had no button.
Guess what? The group with the button performed better, even though they never actually used it. Just knowing they had an “out” reduced stress.
How to apply this at work:
✅ Use structured flexibility. Instead of “I need this by Friday,” try “Would you rather send it over Thursday evening or Friday morning?” Same deadline, but with perceived control.
✅ Break tasks into smaller milestones. Instead of staring at a massive project, setting personal “checkpoints” makes the workload feel more manageable.
✅ Customize your workspace. A small tweak like adjusting your desk layout, using certain apps, or setting your own work routine can give a greater sense of ownership over your environment.
Even if you technically don’t have full control, setting psychological “control points” makes your day feel more structured and manageable.
3) Boost Business Success by Handing Over the “Steering Wheel”
The best businesses don’t just sell—they let customers choose. But here’s the trick: The choices are carefully designed to guide them toward a preferred outcome.
Warby Parker’s at-home glasses trial makes customers feel like they’re in control, but they’re really picking from a limited selection.
Subscription services like Netflix and Spotify say “Choose your perfect plan” instead of “Subscribe now,” making the decision feel like your choice.
Retailers use product quizzes to help customers “find the best fit,” when in reality, they’re nudging them toward predetermined options.
This approach is called a controlled choice environment, where customers feel empowered while still following a structured path.
How to apply this in business:
- Instead of “Sign up now,” say “Pick the plan that fits you best”
- Instead of “Add to cart,” use “Build your perfect bundle”
- Instead of listing services, guide people with “What’s your biggest challenge? Let’s find a solution.”
People hate being sold to, but they love making their own decisions. By creating a sense of control, you remove hesitation and increase conversions.
Final Takeaway: Use It, Don’t Be Used By It
The illusion of control is everywhere. Casinos use it to make gamblers think they have a strategy. Video games use it to keep players engaged with “fake” choices. Even that AC remote in your office might just be for show—it’s probably stuck on one temperature no matter what button you press.
But instead of falling for it, you can turn it into an advantage.
In relationships: Give small choices to reduce resistance.
At work: Create “control points” to lower stress.
In business: Let customers feel like they’re in charge—even when they aren’t.
The world isn’t always under your control. But how you frame choices is.
🟢 Which of these will you try this week? Hit reply and let me know.
👉 Or, if you’re ready to take control of your finances, check out our latest insights at SimplVest.
See you next week,
Dami from SimplVest Team 🚀
