Love is sweet, but can your account balance sustain it? Nigerians share real stories of romance and money—from broke dates to long-distance struggles.
Seyi* had it all figured out—or so he thought. A solid freelance income, a girlfriend who adored him, and a promising future. And before you ask, it was all legal work as an SEO specialist.
Then, life happened.
One month, he was cashing out ₦500k, the next, barely ₦50k. Clients stopped responding, payments got delayed, and jobs dried up. Suddenly, he found himself dodging date night conversations with Anita, the woman who had been with him through thick and thin.
He started noticing things he had never thought about before: how she’d pause before ordering at restaurants as if considering his wallet. How she stopped suggesting outings, maybe to avoid making him feel bad. She never complained, but Seyi couldn’t shake the feeling that love alone wasn’t enough to sustain them.
This Valentine’s, we hit the streets for StreetWise by SimplVest to talk to real Nigerians, making love work on different budgets. Then, we asked some select community members: What lessons can we learn from these experiences?
Here’s what we found out.
*Names have been changed
💔“Will She Stay If My Account Balance Can’t?”
Seyi (23) and Anita (21) started dating when his freelance gig was booming. At the time, he could afford spontaneous trips, gifts, and a soft life without breaking a sweat. But now, with clients ghosting and jobs slowing down, his earnings are unpredictable. Anita is graduating soon, and he can’t shake the thought: Will she leave for someone with a steady paycheck?
He’s not alone in this. Many young Nigerians—especially freelancers and small business owners—struggle with the financial instability that comes with self-employment.
But does an unstable income automatically mean a doomed relationship? Not necessarily.
💬 What our subscribers say:
🔥 “If your income is unstable, be honest about it. Don’t over-promise and end up resenting your partner for ‘expecting too much.’” – Dapo, 28, software developer.
🔥 “I’d rather my man take me on a well-planned, low-budget date than ghost me because he’s broke. Presence over presents!” – Funmi, 24, banker.
🔥 “I’ve been in Anita’s shoes. It’s not about the money, it’s about how you handle the situation. If you act distant and ashamed instead of communicating, your partner will feel neglected.” – Tolu, 25, project manager.
💡 Key Lessons:
✔ Plan for the highs & lows. Save aggressively when you earn well so you have a cushion during dry months.
✔ Don’t equate money with effort. Simple, thoughtful gestures can keep romance alive without breaking the bank.
✔ Be honest about money. Many relationships fail because of unspoken financial struggles. Talk about it.
💍Married, Broke & 6,000 km Apart
Tolu (31) runs a small hair salon in Lagos, making roughly ₦25k a month. Her husband, Kunle (32), moved abroad for work, hoping to provide a better life for them. Two years later, they still haven’t seen each other.
Initially, things were sweet—daily calls, money transfers, and big dreams of reuniting. But the reality hit hard. Living abroad was more expensive than Kunle anticipated. Between rent, bills, and taxes, Tolu tells us he barely had enough to send home.
At first, she didn’t mind. But when she started struggling to pay for basic things—food, rent, even transport to work—resentment crept in. Was it fair for her to wait endlessly, barely surviving, while Kunle kept asking her to be patient?
💬 What our subscribers say:
🔥 “Money from abroad isn’t automatic wealth. If you’re waiting on it, have a plan B.” – Tope, 35, entrepreneur.
🔥 “Long-distance works only when both partners feel secure—emotionally and financially.” – Esther, 25, nurse.
🔥 “It’s risky for one partner to depend fully on money from abroad. Even if it’s just a small side hustle, both partners should have some financial stability.” – Kemi, 30, accountant.
💡 Key Lessons:
✔ Distance isn’t the enemy, silence is. The hardest part of long-distance relationships isn’t the miles—it’s the lack of honest conversations. If money is tight, both partners should be clear about expectations.
✔ Build wealth together. Even with little income, small savings and investments can make a difference. Tolu started a side hustle making wigs, and now she contributes to their financial goals.
✔ Have a backup plan. Relying solely on money from abroad can be risky. A second source of income—no matter how small—keeps you afloat.
👉 “Long-term commitment means having the right money talks early. Learn from Davido & Sharon Ooja: Money Talks to Have Before Saying ‘I Do’.”
Family Life on a ₦65k Pension
Mr. Emmanuel (60) had big retirement dreams—traveling, starting a small business, living comfortably with his wife. But a bad investment changed everything.
A friend convinced him to invest in a “sure deal” that promised big returns. He put in almost all his savings. The business crashed, and his friend disappeared. Now, he and his wife survive on a ₦65k pension in Warri.
Yet, every Sunday, they have a ritual: barbecue catfish and old-school love songs at their favorite roadside joint.
Because love isn’t always about how much you have, but how you spend it together.
💬
🔥 “My dad retired without savings, and I saw how tough it was. Start planning early, no matter how little you earn.” – Uche, 34, business owner.
🔥 “You don’t need millions to be happy, but a good financial plan helps you avoid unnecessary stress.” – Bolanle, 27, teacher.
💡 Key Lessons:
✔ Invest wisely. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Never invest all your savings in one place.
✔ Happiness isn’t about money, it’s about shared values. Even with little, love thrives in small, meaningful moments.
✔ Plan retirement early. Start saving now, no matter how little. The earlier you begin, the better prepared you’ll be.
Learning Romance on a ₦150k Salary
Back when Chinedu met Amaka in 2013 in uni, they were both just coming up. They both lived on campus and had to do odd jobs for extra cash, but they made it work.
Now, they have three kids, and he earns ₦150k as a civil servant. It barely covers rent, food, and school fees. What about romance? That has been out of the question for years.
But this Valentine’s, Chinedu is making a change.
He realised something: He may not be able to afford luxury dates or expensive gifts, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be intentional. So he’s going back to the things that don’t cost much but mean everything—handwritten love notes, heartfelt texts in the middle of the day, watching old Nollywood movies together, cooking dinner while she rests.
💬 What our subscribers say:
🔥 “Romance isn’t about money, but financial stress can make you forget it exists. The little things—checking in, thoughtful texts—go a long way.” – Aisha, 26, marketer.
🔥 “Even if your salary is low, make an effort. You don’t need millions to show love.” – Felix, 32, accountant.
💡 Lessons from Chinedu:
✔ Romance isn’t about spending big. Thoughtful gestures matter more than expensive gifts.
✔ If your income is low, focus on financial growth. Upskill, start a side hustle, or invest wisely.
✔ A strong relationship is built on appreciation, not just money. Show love in ways that don’t need a price tag.
👉 “Want to get your partner the perfect gift without overspending? Check out our Valentine’s Day Gift Guide.”
💬 What’s your take? We’ve shared real stories of love and money, but we want to hear from you. How do you balance romance and finances? Reply to this email, and your insights might be featured in our next edition!
Cheers!
Dami
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