Learn the art of detaching self-worth from finances, why money is a tool, not a measure of confidence & how to find joy in the priceless moments that matter.
Ah, money—this pesky thing that drives us to joy, stress, and sometimes outright madness. But let’s pause for a moment. How much of our sense of worth, self-confidence, or even self-esteem is tied to the naira in our account? Heavy question, right? This week on Vaami from Simplvest, we’re talking about the subtle art of detaching your self-worth from your wallet. Because, truth be told, money is a terrible yardstick for measuring life.
The Lesson I’m Teaching Myself
If there’s one thing I’ve consciously started doing, it’s unlearning the habit of tying my confidence to how much I have—or don’t have—in my account. Maybe it started as a coping mechanism, seeing as I wasn’t exactly born into wealth. No silver spoon, not even a stainless-steel one. But growing up taught me one thing: if I allowed lack to define me, I’d never see the end of shame.
For men in particular, there’s this unspoken script society hands you: if you don’t have money, you’re not “man enough.”
Imagine! But honestly, I’m rewriting that nonsense. The best gift I can give myself in this adulting wahala is to learn to face financial ups and downs without feeling like I’m less of a person. To know that, whether or not I’m flush with cash, I deserve respect. I deserve love. I deserve friendship. And yes, even sex—none of these things should come with a price tag.
Not Poor, Just Content
Now, before you think I’m here giving poverty a nice, shiny gloss, abeg, hear me out. I’m not poor. Far from it. In fact, I’d say I’m steadily walking a promising path—one where my skills, network, and hard work will take me to the best financial position they can. Will I become the next Dangote? Highly unlikely. And guess what? That’s perfectly okay.
This idea that you must chase extreme wealth to find happiness? It’s overrated. What matters, at least for me, is being financially stable enough to live comfortably and take care of my responsibilities. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake, not the cake itself.
A Rant About Material Vanity
Here’s where I might ruffle a few feathers: I genuinely cannot stand people who measure everything by money. You know them—those who think their designer clothes, fancy cars, or luxurious holidays make them better than others. Materialism, to me, is one of the shallowest ways to live.
And the most ironic part? Many of these money-obsessed folks will likely never touch the kind of wealth they fantasize about. Harsh truth, but it’s the reality. Money is fickle. Today you have it; tomorrow, one hospital bill or bad investment can clear you out. So, why build your entire identity around something so unstable?
There’s more to life than a fat bank account. If you’ve never laughed with friends over suya and a cold bottle of beer, danced to old-school Naija jams in your living room, or felt the pure joy of giving someone a heartfelt gift, then what’s the point? These are the moments that remind me money is only a tool—not the goal.
My Final Thoughts
At the heart of it, money is important—no arguments there. It puts food on the table, keeps the lights on, and makes life easier. But tying your confidence, happiness, or value as a person to how much you have is a recipe for constant anxiety.
So, here’s my take: Be intentional about your finances, yes. Work hard, save, invest, and aim for financial stability. But in the same breath, remember that life’s richest moments often cost nothing. The love of family, the respect of friends, and your sense of self-worth? These are priceless, and no naira note can buy them.
Until next time, remember: Money no be confidence. Live well, spend wisely, and always find joy in the little things.
